PolkOut.com is a serious soul!

That no one will take seriously.

People believe every goddamn word I say, and this will be the subject of many forthcoming updates.

I demanded a raise today, just to be an ass, reasoning, "Those Mexicans down by Home Depot probably get more than the sh!t you pay me!"

To which my boss cleverly retorted, "Count your blessings; Home Depot drug tests."

"I don't know what you're implying, but drugs are against my religion!"

"Listen, I don't care what you do on your own time--"

"No, I'm serious, I'm a convert to Islam--"

"You're a convert to Islam?"

"Yeah, and if my parents found out their son was practicing such non-halal (a word I can't spell) practices as drinking and using drugs, they'd stone me to death!"

"Your parents are converts too?"

"Yeah..."

And then she, oddly enough, started getting legitly interested, "When did they conve--"

"Listen, I'm just f!cking with you, relax."  I really didn't feel like taking it any further because my coworkers already think I live entirely off of eggs and participate in circle jerks regularly.  I told them back in high school I started a club for it, even mentioned it on all of my college applications.

"...but...but that's all guys..."  Stammered my coworker.

"No gayer than the sh!t that goes down in the football team's locker room."

I guess I'm just too good a liar.

--End Transmission--