PolkOut.com is in your rearview mirror!

Going down.

That's it, everybody boycott Popsicle.  Oh who am I kidding, popsicles are delicious...but those f!cks have obviously ignored my job request.  But together, we, the collective internet, can flood them with emails to get me hired!  Come on!  I'm sick of working in the goddamn deli, regardless of how much comedic fodder it generates!

Did I mention I hate damn near all my customers?  If you've ever bought anything from me...I probably hate you.  If you eat liverwurst...go f!ck yourself.  No, really, instead of ordering that garbage why don't you just drop the pretences and ask me, straight to my face, if you could take a steaming sh!t right in my eyes.

Moreover, ham-eaters, what the hell?  Do you really need your ham so thin you can freakin' see through it?  What, are you making those crazy, inefficient, Japanese windows...out of ham?  F!ck you.  If you eat Virginia ham, and make me open a new one, double-f!ck you.  It's like handling a giant sloppy turd.

Fancy sandwiches?  F!ck you.

And I speak English, for Christ's sake, don't talk to me like you're William Shatner, "Can...I...please...have...some...white...American...cheeeeeese...?"  No, go f!ck yourself.  I hate you.

I really deserve a better job.

--End Transmission--