PolkOut.com fancies you!

And your kind.

I got yelled at by my store manager for calling a customer a "crackhead".  His exact words were, "What...is wrong with you?  What...what?  What is wrong with you?  Do you not understand...we're trying to run a business?  What...the hell...is wrong with you?"

I come home from work today, my grandmother shouts, "Hey! Check this out!"  And then she proceeds to pull tufts of hair out of my dog's back.  So now my dog's balding.  In a month I'll have the ugliest dog in town; a big, bald, wart-covered rat.  He took a piss on my rug two days ago, in front of me, as I was angrily screaming.

And I bought my "Everybody Loves an Irish Girl" shit in the men's section of the basement of Steve and Barry's so it's not a girl-shirt.  I also bought some sweet Transformers shirts down there...all really cheap!  Awesome store, especially when Target sells the exact same sh!t for double the price.  But they can't get past my tactical textile Jewish spending sense.  Hava nagila, motherf!ckers.

Bought a PS3.  It's freakin' sweet.  Got no games.  Been playing Crash Bandicoot in between work and sleep and drawing comics nobody reads.  It's been a fulfilling summer. 

New revelation: Boar's Head cheese is the dairy equivalent of rotten horse's sh!t.  Over the last week and a half people have been asking for Jarlsberg Swiss every goddamn day, so I finally decided to investigate...and it's amazing.  I was being cheated this entire time...fooled...I feel so ashamed, so dirty.  Boar's Head American cheese is garbage too, compared to the luscious creamy goodness, the kind of cheese Christ would put on His burger, that is Land-o-Lakes.  Boar's Head ain't all bad though, their Londonport roast beef is the single greatest thing to ever hit our deli's sandwiches.  That and the mustard.

--End Transmission--