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PolkOut.com is giving you everything, inside and out! Slow change may pull us apart.
Studies show if you were ever a 12 year-old boy and didn't enjoy, to the point of obsession, Dragon Ball, you probably have no soul. Or are a pansy. Yes, the plotlines were atrocious, yes, the animation bordered on PowerPoint presentation, yes, it was totally lame when they changed the voice actors, but it was everything to us. And some of those original movies are still pretty badass.
I don't know how, I don't know why, but little Asian girls hand me my ass at Tetris. I remember once I started a game, talking trash, only to be thoroughly embarassed. I thinks she made a pact with the f!cking Tetris devil or something, or Tetris skill is somehow relative to violin-skill. All I know is that they consistently make me bring my A-game. The above comic, which reflects actual events, features the most intense game of Tetris I've ever played, Mark's basement was flooded by our screaming.
Another awesome feature of Facebook Tetris, aside from the trash talk, is that you can often see who you're playing against. So Mark and I have constructed certain rules, based on experience, that certain names are consistently attributed to women who we deem hot, while others are consistently attributed to those we deem...not. There are some obvious ones, like if you have a grandma name--for example, Gertrude--you're probably not going to be a stellar beauty. Some rules are less intuitive; we've found, based on our scientific analysis, that names with hyphens are often associated with women of the equine variety. I'd disclose the rest, but I'm compiling a research proposal based on the subject so I'd rather not risk being ripped off.
In other news, go see Underdog! One of the best movies of the year! It's not brilliant, but it made me happy and some parts of the film are simply hysterical. Here's one example (it's nothing particularly plot-relevant): Underdog turns his head, sees a cat, and mutters, "There goes the neighborhood..."
The theater is silent for the few seconds it takes me to process that joke, and I start erupting in loud, obnoxious, inappropriate, laughter. It takes a second for my buddy Nate to realize why it is I'm laughing so hard, and then it's the two of us filling that theater with oafish cackles. I think I laughed for five straight minutes, much longer than I did when I saw Star Wars: Episode III, and Anakin got his limbs chopped off while his nubs caught fire--I actually screamed, "HIS NUBS ARE ON FIRE!" and nerds threw popcorn at me.
But anyway, that sort of subtle reference to racism is priceless. It was almost worth the price of admission.
Oh yeah, and I finally quit my job. Sleep is awesome.
Speaking of nerds, stop reading here if you don't give a sh!t about geeky junk:
I picked up a copy of Loco Roco for my PSP and it's easily the best game I've played in a very long time. You can play as these dark blue blobs that look like they're wearing blackface--they too made me laugh for quite a while. The one problem with the game is that'd it would play so much better on the PS3, and the jump control is kind of inconsistent.
I thought I had more to say...but I don't. So until next time, Polksters!
--End Transmission--
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