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It's the swearing, it has no nobility.

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy reading and loafing and... pooping occasionally.  More updates this week, I promise.

The above comic took place a WHILE back, but I was out of comedic fodder and just randomly remembered that story.  But not this week!  Whole lot of random crap coming up!

So I've been watching a lot of Food Network.  I don't cook, too lazy, but I think Rachel Ray is delightful.  I actually got some Rachel Ray posters from my local Dunkin' Donuts--they only thought I was a little weird.  Unlike Giada Delaurentis, who happens to have one weird freakin' name, Rachel seems like she'd be a pretty cheap date.  We could go out for burgers and she'd say something like, "Cheddar cheese makes me weak in the knees!"  With her heavy smoker's voice and her adorable giggle.  Giada would be so f!cking high maintenance, "Burgers?  I'd like mine with coelacanth caviar, on lightly toasted half sour bread baked by blind Chinese Himalayan monks, served out of a Cambodian child's anus."  She sure is hot though, but if you do the math--in terms of hotness per dollar--Rachel Ray's the better bargain.

If anyone suspects the Messiah may already be living among us, then the first person they should look to--well, realistically, second--is Alton Brown.  What a f!cking badass.  I bet he poops steaks and pisses A1.  I want to go out and get a beer with Alton Brown--no, I want him to make me a beer as he explains the history of the beverage and its cultural significance.  And then I want Bobby Flay to make me a better one.

--End Transmission--