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PolkOut.com is rising up from the floor, pyrotechnics all around; fake blood, explosions, screeching! DEEEEEEEEMONS LIVE.
Forum Update: The forum looks awesome now! Big thanks to my friend Alex! Post in the new forum: www.PolkOut.com/forum. It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth. Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific. You can still check out the old forum, and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel. Quick shit for newcomers: Forum (deviant bullshit), Feedback (fan art, comments, critiques), About (check it out and contribute). Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to? Want to do a crazy guest strip? You can reach me through that email or on the forums. Upcoming Fan Art Showcase: Whenever I get a substantial amount of fan art (we've got a few submissions on the forum) I'll dedicate a whole update to fan submissions. Go nuts, lets see some creativity and experimentation with style. Guest comic guidelines are in the forum. Archive Alternative: PolkOut Redux, updated Monday through Friday with old strips in the same chronological order as in which they appeared on this site. It's on DrunkDuck so you can rate the comics and comment directly underneath them:
As for today's comic, it originally had one extra panel:
Was deleting it the right move? I stared at it for a while before finally figuring, you know, that last part seems a bit unnecessary. But whatever, I guess you all now have some insight into my creative process... not that it matters, or is helpful, or will ever mean anything to anyone... In other site news, this week's been pretty weird in terms of hits. I've been getting users from China, Singapore, and Pakistan, which is... uh... awesome. I met some Chinese students when I went to Beijing last year so maybe it's them, but why they'd wait a year to check my shit out... who knows? Remember that update where I posted random older stuff I drew, back in high school or whenever? I found some more, but I'm not sure if I've posted this one before... it was an entry into a character design contest; they wanted three designs: a male, a female, and an other. All were to be submitted separately and users o the site would vote. I did not win. Here is my combined entry:
I figured it was entertaining enough to post.
Seeing that graffiti on the street gave me a little nerd boner, true story. I was out the door, about to head West to Praha 1 to meet my dad, who'd come by for a visit, when I spotted this beauty. I hiked back up to my room and grabbed my camera because such civil disobedience had to be chronicled for future generations.
In random
Prague news: A few nights ago--well, alright, I guess it was about a week--one of the girls in my building walked into my room (I forget why, but it was probably to seduce me or maybe just touch my junk a little) when she noticed my underwear pile in the corner...
"Uh... yeah, sorry about that... it's... uh, my laundry pile..." I
stammered. Unfortunately, readers, when I arrived to her room a day or two later she had already done her laundry. However, this story isn't pointless! Oh no! The next night three ladies from my building, ones I'd never imagined would actually ever read this shit, approached me and asked, "Could you make a t-shirt with a Scrooge McDuck version of you diving into a giant pile of underwear?"
The result of my efforts: After I finished this I thought, hey, you know, this could make a decent desktop wallpaper for my fans. I've never done one of those before so I figured why not?
Here's the gigantic full sized
version that you can scale yourself, but I've also gone to the
liberty of scaling the image to three common wallpaper sizes: I know a lot of my female readers have longed to have my dive into them and now that dream has come closer to fruition than ever before:
I'm honed in, like a heat-seeking missile guided right towards your baby-makin' crevice. Don't fret, my intentions are noble, my methods gentle (backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, all up in your uterine fluids). I didn't know how to orient the image onto a shirt, like the girls originally asked, so I framed it and put a little title on the top and the url on the bottom. If you think there's a better way to do it, or a better title to use, or whatever, just let me know via email or the forums. It's on a bunch of shirts now; if you select the black one you can pick from a set of colors that aren't advertised separately. All shirts are sold at zero profit for me, so what you see are the minimum CafePress prices--I do it that way because I'd rather have everyone who buys one act as a walking billboard than be ripped off. If you have a custom design request or want a design from one product placed on another, again, email or forums.
OM NOM NOM! Anyway, here's that gnome that I bought in Paris for five bucks (Euro-bucks... aka... too many America-bucks):
Note the binoculars. What kind of people sport binoculars? Bird watchers, scouts, hunters...
...and PERVERTS! Look at this, he's choking that dolphin/duck hybrid, yanking it out of his own asshole! What the fuck, French gnome makers, what the fuck?! That girl in the comic, I should note, was that intern who couldn't pack fudge properly. She was over here, drinking with Special K, when I showed her the gnome and she suggested we name it. We proceeded to do so democratically, and, well, the result was pretty much what one would expect given a decision between me, the half-assed fudge-packer, and K: Yes, readers, we have dubbed this little guy: Septic Queef Gnome I'm sure most of you are aware of the fact that Barack Obama was in town last week. I'm not the biggest Barack fan (as an aside: you live in New York, surrounded by all sorts of teenage and twenty-something tools and you know it's kind of unsettling when they're wearing Che Guevara shirts one week and Obama shirts the next. The whole cult of personality thing is fucking weird. Now I'm cautiously optimistic of what Obama can do and his intentions but I'm willing to wait four, or maybe eight years before declaring him the messiah--and I sure as shit won't go parading around with paraphernalia like some Maoist circa the 60's) but this was his first public speech to the European Union as POTUS and I was fifteen minutes away so it seemed obligatory to go. My neighbor and I got up at 4:30 in the morning to hike out to the event where we stood, packed like sardines in a gay porno, until 10:30, or was it 11:00? I forget, it felt like fucking forever, waiting for Obama to speak. I've never seen so many people in one place in Prague before; 20,000 people in a city of 1.2 million is a pretty big slice of the people pie. I was tired and hungry and my legs hurt from standing for all those many hours; it felt like they were cock-teasing us the entire time. Music music music STOP oh man he's gonna speamusic music music STOP now maybe? LIVE BAND music music WHAT THE FUCmusic music music STOP okay, now he's gonmusic music music... I fucking frustrated when he finally got on but I thought the speech was decent, its aims noble, a good time all around. I'm glad I went, it felt historic in a way. But the best part of the whole thing was when I got to snap a picture with the guy:
--End Transmission-- PolkOut Sells Out The following are ads I've put up on the site to help pay for my advertising budget so I can make this site more popular. I did not choose these ads, and have decided not to filter their content. So if they lead you to Satanic ritual how-to's, well, all the better.
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