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PolkOut.com is planting pubic hairs into your potato salad! That'll learn 'ya.
Forum Update: The forum looks awesome now! Big thanks to my friend Alex! Post in the new forum: www.PolkOut.com/forum. It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth. Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific. You can still check out the old forum, and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel. Quick shit for newcomers: Forum (deviant bullshit), Feedback (fan art, comments, critiques), About (check it out and contribute). Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to? Want to do a crazy guest strip? You can reach me through that email or on the forums.
Oh man, fan art! Why don't you send me some?!
Forum user Harkovast made it, check out his bitchin' webcomic. Today's grandpa's birthday, so I'm squeezing out this little update in the small amount of time I have sandwiched between planting my ass in front of my computer and drinking. I've actually found something that loosely resembles a hobby... thanks partly to this here website, Netflix, and my local library. It's been kind of a weird weekend, from a thematic perspective at least... watching pretentious foreign films between marathon bouts of the Degrassi marathon that's been airing on the N... is this an upgrade from all the tween sitcoms I used to burn away the daytime hours with? Have I matured, from a chicken-legged, gap-toothed, twelve year-old into a perky-titted, thong-wearing, menstruating teenager? Like a bulbasaur whose trainer has spent his time grinding away at pidgeys and rattatas, I've scraped the bottom of the barrel, twice over in fact, to muster up the strength... the courage... the power, to evolve! GAZE UPON ME FOR I AM A BEAUTIFUL IVYSAUR. No, you're not confused... it really is that pathetic. But the film thing, that's legit, right? And you know what? I'm gonna start writing again, I actually already have, but I'm gonna expand... I had an idea for an iCarly episode, maybe I could mail the script to Dan Schneider and he can be all, "WOWZERS THERE, we need you as a freelance tween sitcom writer! We'll pay you!" And I'll be raking in the dough by the... uh... how much do iCarly writers make? Like twenty grand a year? Well I'll make... maybe a quarter of that and buy myself a fuckin' crocodile, like from Clarissa Explains It All, or a chinchilla because they're real soft and I could pet it all day. You can't cuddle a crocodile. No, that's not fair, I don't know... I shouldn't put crocodiles down like that. There may be some crocodile reading this right now... some lonely crocodile, looking for a cuddle buddy, and here I am spreading these hurtful claims. Crocodile tears... ha, look at that... comedy. To quell the boredom, I'll gladly accept book, film, and game suggestions. I'm waiting on my copy of Battle Royale to show up, but after that, I'll burn through whatever you readers throw my way. Oh and... if any of you wanna give me a job (assuming you're a legitimate employer and not some... well I was going to say pervert, but I suppose you could be both)... you know how. --End Transmission-- PolkOut Sells Out The following are ads I've put up on the site to help pay for my advertising budget so I can make this site more popular. I did not choose these ads, and have decided not to filter their content. So if they lead you to pubey salads, well, all the better.
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