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PolkOut.com is gonna take the southbound, all the way to Georgia! Till the train, it run outta track.
All artistically-capable readers are challenged to submit their own versions of this same pig-suckling motif.
Page Update: See that right below? That's a donate button. I know I said I'd never ask you readers for any money, but I've been thinking that if I really want people to read this stuff, I've got to advertise, and I've got to advertise up there in the big leagues. There are webcomics that get upwards of 800,000 hits per day, but they charge $40 or more per day per ad. Now StumbleUpon chargles $0.10 per impression, that's 400 impressions per $40; if 0.1% of one of those other comics' readership clicks my link, that's 800 impressions. So it's already more cost effective. It becomes even more cost effective the more attractive my ads become, so I was also wondering if there was anyone out there who could help me make some awesome ads. To be honest, I feel like a piece of shit asking for donations when you could be giving your money to hungry orphans or organizations that plant trees in urban wastelands, so don't donate anything unless you're really hemorrhaging cash out of every hole. Forum Update: The forum looks awesome now! Big thanks to my friend Alex! Post in the new forum: www.PolkOut.com/forum. It's hosted on my server, and if that starts getting laggy in the future I can just pay for more bandwidth. Any artistic contribution to the forum would be terrific. You can still check out the old forum, and older pages will still link to it for now, so... uh... do whatever with that intel. Quick shit for newcomers: Forum (deviant bullshit), Feedback (fan art, comments, critiques), About (check it out and contribute). Do you have a website of your own you want me to give a shout out to? Want to do a crazy guest strip? You can reach me through that email or on the forums.
Vote vote vote, vote once a day. Lets get us up there in the rankings. I told my friend who made that drawing (credit where credit's due, but I haven't asked her whether she wants her name on here or not, so I just linked to her Newgrounds account) that I could color it, no problem. But then I realized, "Oh yeah, I make fucking stickmen cartoons," and my technical skill (or rather lack thereof), become immediately apparent. I went to the dentist on Thursday for my biannual-check-up-slash-face-fuck. Now, try to follow me here on this one: I don't really eat many sweets, I brush my teeth twice a day, and I floss regularly, yet my teeth are Swiss cheese. I have friends who never floss, who chew on bits of glass like they're bubblegum, whose mothers scrub their rotten mouths out with steel wool... and nothing. It's like my teeth are doing it to themselves. "I can't take it... I just can't take it anymore!" says some random molar in the back of my mouth, "Life is pain." He whips out a razor he stole out of his mom's dresser (the one she uses to shave her legs... and hopefully not much else) and begins digging into himself, "It's like I can control the pain," he sobs as he updates his LiveJournal with more poetry about how alone and misunderstood he is. I guess a bunch of my teeth are depressed. Maybe they're... bipolar molars. Get it?! It rhymes... fuck yes I'm awesome. Happy now, all you "this comic sucks, where are the punchlines?!" assholes?! Riding my ass like it'll take you up the Grand Canyon... suck a dick. Grandpa says that I get cavities because I'm just so irresistibly sweet (he says the same about mosquito bites), I tell him that's a pretty gay thing for one man to say to another. He's 71 though, he doesn't give a fuck and he's got nothing to prove so he shrugs it off and says, "I can say whatever gay shit I damn well please. I made your mom." Well he would say that, if he were living up to his crassness potential... and if he spoke English. So anyway, I was sitting in my dentist's chair, big wad of gum-like shit stuffed in my mouth like a sock in that girl's who I met a the mall but wouldn't give me her phone number so I stuffed her in my trunk, and we were talking about books. "I'm reading Atlas Shrugged," she says, waiting for that crap to set. "Awhn Wan suckth." "What?" "Awhn Wan suckth!" "No, I don't think so... her philosophies are very interesting." "Thee ha no souw..." "She has no soul?" "Nah ah aw." "Who has soul then?" "Kwundeahah, oo shou reah Unbeahaha Ligh-hess oh eeing." The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Kundera again, is a damn great book... as most people are probably aware since it's older than I am. It got some negative reviews from what I can only imagine to be a horde of mouth-breathers on Amazon. I already talked about Kundera two updates ago, and guess what... he's still the fucking man. I'm not going to go on about him though, since the last two updates were pretentious enough (pen pal offer still stands). Otherwise, nothing new to report. I haven't found a blog yet (suggestions, dammit!), still writing, still gyming, still being a sassy motherfucker. As for you guys? Vote, buy some merch, and spread the good word. --End Transmission-- PolkOut Sells Out The following are ads I've put up on the site to help pay for my advertising budget so I can make this site more popular. I did not choose these ads, and have decided not to filter their content. So if they lead you to little bacon babies suckling on man titty, well, all the better.
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