PolkOut.com doesn't work, doesn't get in a car, doesn't ride in a car, doesn't pick up the phone, doesn't turn on the oven, and sure as sh!t doesn't f!cking roll!

We told those f!cks down at the league office a thousand times that we don't roll on Shabbos!

Kids, take note, don't list under your extracurriculars, "Made the world in six days, even though I was given seven."

I really did write an essay claiming to be God.  I thought it was funny.  Teachers thought it was funny.  But hell, the rejection letter said it best, "You have no place among the class of 2010."  So if they can't appreciate my writing, they probably couldn't appreciate me either.

It happens.  And now I'm only driven to work harder, try harder, and sharpen my mind so I can be as successful as I can.  You know, out of spite.

I think that's a healthy attitude.

Seeing as this is the season of giving, there'll be a new comic up sometime in the middle of next week, followed by a holiday special next Friday...and then we won't update for a week.  Enjoy the forums in the meantime.

--End Transmission--