PolkOut.com is...what the f!ck?!

In ancient Greece they would've fed us to the wolves

(after they were finished with the butt-f!ckery of course).

Add small talk to the stuff I'm completely incompetent at doing.  After scaring the sh!t out of James' friend, my roommates sat me down and gave me the "what not to do or say in front of women" lecture.  Needless to say, it was a pretty damn long speech.

Yes, this update is late...it happens.  I have class, okay?  I gots sh!t to do because I'm a busy man and there are people out there--and they might not know it yet--who want, or possibly even need, to see me, so I've got responsibilities.  That's what it means to be a man, handing in your homework on time and dealing with the mind-numbing drudgery of academic life.  So back the f!ck off.

I'm sorry, I was terse.  You know I love you, need you even, and without you...I'm nothing.  Okay, well, that's a bit of an exaggeration.  I'm awesome with or without you--but you help.  Definitely, your presence is a boon so come back.  Ha!  That's right, you can't resist my charms...mmm...you like this?  Oooohhhh...yeah...

Oh sh!t, I'm doing it again...this is exactly what my roommates told me not to do...be creepy.  Sorry, I can't help it, it's like creepiness is a part of me.  I should buy a trench coat to complete that motif, maybe walk in slow circles around the local playground while visibly tweaking my nipples, you know, take it all out.  Go big or go home they always say, so why turn back now?

Well, enough exposition.  You love this sh!t, I'm like crack.  I have damn near no redeeming qualities but you keep coming back.  Well its time to get your friends hooked.  You hear that?  Send this site to all your little friends, post it on your little forums, tattoo it on your little scrotum--not to imply your scrotum is small, and not that there's anything wrong with that either, lots of famous people had small scrotums...like Alexander the Great and Mariel Hemmingway and John Adams (as the legends imply)--do whatever it takes.

That is all.

--End Transmission--