PolkOut.com is too crazy to live!

Too rare to die.

I have the awesomest body hair in the world.  I'm not even going to argue this because there's no point; it's not greasy, in fact, it's the softest hair I have, and it's not horrifically curly like steel wool.  It's, well, the only way to describe it is awesome.  Next time you see me be sure to touch it--but ask first because if you catch me off guard by my sharpened Ninja-like reflexes may prompt me to punch you in the throat--unless it's hot outside or I'm visibly sweaty...then, well...yeah...not so much.

Cats are awesome, except for their personalities and the whole toxoplasmosis thing.  As pets, they're sh!t.  No loyalty, no friendliness, just an endless barage of crap.  They are fun to touch though and I imagine their hides would make an exceptional coat.  So before you start calling me a creep for wanting to f!ck an anthropomorphic one (as opposed to the other reasons you'd call me a creep, which is a list far too vast to address in a single update's commentary) go pet a cat right now, remind yourself how they feel, especially their stomachs, and tell me I'm wrong. 

Moreover, there's absolutely nothing wrong with rubbing your naked body with cats or using a dozen of them for a bed or some sort of shelter.  Cats don't care.  They're animals, and as far as I'm concerned, animals don't have feelings.  I know, I know, I'm a monster, but I really don't buy this bullsh!t that a cat or a dog or a dolphin is anything more than a simple brain with legs (or fins).  If I glaze my asshole with honey or whipped cream and a cat licks it clean, it's not going to be emotionally scarred.  It's a dumb piece of meat, it doesn't know what it's doing.  Hell, it'll probably begin associating my ass with a nourishing teat of some sort.

Speaking of dumb animals, there was a dachshund parade or something over in Washington Square Park on Saturday.  In short, it was depraved.  The sorts of people who dress their dogs up in costumes are the very same sort who masturbate to scheisse porn or refuse to eat meat for moral reasons or some such sh!t.  They start off normal, you walk up to them and say, "The bitches love me, I get it, 'cuz he's a dog...it's funny.  Good T-shirt."  And then they reply with something along the lines of, "Yes, yes, yes, he has a sailor outfit at home as well as a cowboy one.  He prefers the cowboy one.  The cowboy is his favorite Village Person.  Do you have a dachshund?  Because my little Bitsy here is looking for a daddy for her puppies..."  Goddamn.

Well that's all for now Polksters...at least I think.  There might have been something else I wanted to say...uuhhhhhhh...but I can't remember it so it was probably just more tangential bullsh!t.

--End Transmission--